Well, Honky Dog!!

IMPORTANT MEMO: Thank you Hadley and Katie for the awesome package including my new year's celebratory beverages, and new MUSIC! I just imported it onto the computer and am in the slow process of getting it onto my shuffle. Maybe this will evoke a jog this afternoon!? I hope so...cuz my coconut-milk-friendly attitude is earning me quite a bootay. But, in the Fijian context, this is considered most deliciously attractive and bula bula, or healthy. I recently had a chat with my host family about them constantly calling me "levu levu" or FAT. I tried my best to convey that in America, repeatedly saying "you are fat" could cause serious harm to a woman's psyche. They were perplexed, but have since made an effort not to point out how much fatter I have gotten overnight. Did I mention in a previous blog the quote from my Na, “Daughter, I want to make you so fat, that the next time you see your friends, they won’t recognize you!” Yes, that really happened.
Lastnight, while seated around the dinner table, I refused a 2^nd helping (maybe the first time I've done this, GASP!) and the whole family looked up at me with huge eyeballs and gaping mouths. Finally, my Ta said in the most utterly sad undertone, "Zoe, don't be like that." My Na and sisters (in equally sad voices) agreed with him. As touching as this was, I held fast. I've figured out my chosing to refuse food is NOT so much of a weight issue as it is a control issue. For the last 7 months I'd say 90% of what I eat is dictated by circumstance. Either I cannot buy what I want, or I am dining on food prepared by somebody else --- oftentimes containing MSG, loads of oil, bugs or
“medicine” and who the heck knows what else (YIKES!). So, I'm entering a phase where I would like to be more in control of what goes into my mouth, or at the very least, how MUCH goes into my mouth. It’s hard, because they really do push it on you “eat a lot, eat a lot! Here, I’ll just put this 2 lbs of lolo-soaked something on your plate, now you MUST eat it…” I’m not exaggerating! Haha, never would have anticipated this particular challenge upon entering Peace Corps.
Despite all of this force-feeding and eagerness at calling another person FAT, the ideal female body here is NOT morbidly obese as one would expect. What is ideal is the appearance of healthiness and radiance, and this varies based on the individual. I’ve noticed that gauging healthiness seems to really start with the clarity and brightness of the eyes. Clear bright eyes means you might be called “levu levu” or fat. However, if you’re in a bad mood, sick, or whatever else that causes eyes to be receded, glazed over, or cloudy in appearance means you might be asked “are you ok?” I really think this way of perceiving others is a cool aspect of the culture. Fijians use super-subtle cues to assess each other’s mental, physical, and emotional well-being and all of this can be summed up with the term “levu levu.” I feel like Americans often are not SEEING each other. Remember how in the movie Avatar, the blue guys say to each other “I see you” as a greeting? Well, how friggin awesome is THAT!?!? It’s saying to another person “hey, I’m taking a moment, to cut through the vast curtain of shit (my own, the world’s, and maybe even yours) to really SEE YOU.” Sigh. So, I feel like Fijians see each other more clearly than Americans do, or at least do a great job fakin it ;) Sometimes I freak out wondering how much they can perceive, like, “crap, can she sense that I really think her cooking sucks??” or “can they tell I that think that guy is uber hot!?”
So Thanksgiving turned out to be amazing! Me and maybe 20 other PCV’s went to our director’s house for a potluck Turkey Day. Our director scored a turkey from the US embassy, so we were stoked to get a little bird action. In addition to turkey, I dined on glorious green bean casserole, stuffing, greek salad, mango salsa, ice cream, brownies, and more. It was such an incredible treat. To round out the tonight, our director put on xmas music and some of use began decorating a tree! If I had imbibed perhaps one more glass of wine, it would have taken a lot of convincing me that I wasn’t in America. I’m very grateful for that little surprising slip into another dimension.
OK, funny story, (mostly funny to those who know me!). We went out dancing the night after Tday and I discovered that after about 7 months, I finally found my dancing shoes! What a relief cuz I was starting to think that I might have lost them for good ---- and I never would have forgiven Fiji. Anyway, amped with the discovery, I didn’t want to go home with the early crowd and wound up staying out quite late with a couple other die-hards. In the midst of the final hour, I located some Fijian breakdancers (didn’t know they existed!) and, lookin all fly an sh*%, in my cotton calf-length skirt and mis-matched cotton shirt, I thought it would be a nice gesture to show them how it’s REALLY done by challenging them to a dance battle. Hollah!!! I woke up literally chuckling to myself because I’m pretty sure that I resembled a crack-head spliced with a whirling dervish. Yeahhhhh…. No worries though, the night was totally redeemed by the fantastic Fijian Honky Dog (a local delicasy served at a late-night mixed-meat hot-dog cart in Suva) that I scarfed just before heading back to the house.

Anywayyyyy, I’ll wrap this up… Everyday is an adventure – like today I almost puked on the truck-ride into town because it was so packed with smelly, steamy villagers that I couldn’t breathe or see past the butt that was 2 inches from my nose. On the almost equally packed truck ride back to the village, a woman insisted on me standing in between her legs. She then continuously squeezed my legs with hers for almost the whole ride… until I could break free!! WHAT THE??? Weird stuff here, I’m telling ya! Also, I just found out tonight that if people in my village have pain anywhere below the chest area, they stick pain-killers up their butts --- they call it, quite naturally, “butt-in medicine.” This way it’s closer to the pain source. Yeeeesh. I tried to explain that western medicine doesn’t quite work that way, but it might have fallen on deaf ears. On that sweet note, I miss you all and am very grateful for all of the emails, letters, facebook messages, packages, post cards, etc. That I’ve received. Vinaka vaka levu!!! Much love - Z