Limerence

NOTES ON FIJI
Before I left Fiji, I had so many incredible experiences, I cannot recount them all here. One involved standing at the river and saying good bye to it like it was a dear relative. To be washing my hair while little yellow-tailed fish darted around my legs and eels S-d their way by was magic (although first spotting a 2 ft eel right next to me usually evoked a clenched sphincter). Every aspect of my being would exhale in relief as the shade of the ivi  trees (type of chestnut) cast a blanket of coolness onto my impossibly flushed skin. (Then a baseball-sized ivi would spontaneously plummet down from the tree and land 2 inches from my head, reminding me that life is unpredictable). Basically, the river was where it was at: it had sustained my existence in the village.
Another brilliant moment occurred during dinner with my "host" family. A bunch of my tavale, or male cousins, (like 4) were returning from a church function at the neighboring village and conveniently decided to pop into the house while we were finishing up our meal. They plopped down on the ground amongst us, and began devouring the tasty foods which my Na was dishing out for them. After a few minutes, my father said, "oh yes, good, good, Rosie (me), all your tavale are here to join us for dinner." Then a moment later with chin turned upwards and half-mast eyelids, "Yeah, even though these guys have their own houses with food..." Without missing a beat, my 17 year-old tavale, Pavili, cocked his head and said with gusto, "Oi! We will be taking care of you when you are old!" Ta looked down and chuckled silently to himself. My heart swelled, and I found myself in a state of bliss. The content of that dialogue was beautiful. The humor. The sense of sharing beyond immediate family. The knowledge that what is given now will be returned later. The mutual respect and sense of responsibility that the two generations had for each other. Breath taking.
I also found myself feeling stabs of resentment towards the fact that I was only able to glimpse this comical and endearing side of my family because they happened to be speaking in english. Oh, how much was I was regularly missing out on due to my lack of language skills!?
The night I said goodbye to my family, we stayed up until 3:30 am drinking grog and, basically, mourning. I felt like I was watching my funeral - like I really was dying some slow, eerie death right before their eyes. Excruciating for all parties involved. I guess the idea was to get some of the grieving over with. At one point, my beloved Ta looked at me with profound sorrow and said in front of the whole group "Rosie, please, just tell me why?" I almost barfed with emotion. "Because I need to be healthy Ta... I cannot be sick anymore. You guys took care of me better than anybody in Fiji could have, but I have to go home now...You have become my family, you are in my heart forever, I will come back to visit." The room was silent, Na bowed her head and wept quietly. Sigh.
The real kicker came when my family along with 2 tavale and some other family friends began singing in the lamp-lit, tin house. Fijian tradition involves singing at farewells. Their voices filled the space and vibrated right into every cell of my body. I felt how much they loved me, how sad they were about my departure... and then I knew that I was part of them and they were part of me.

HELLO USA
 OK! So, I've shot through yet another portal and bam... am back in North Cacalack! I am sitting at a Starbucks that is attached to a grocery store, marveling at the fact that such a nicely finished-off, humongous venue for coffee and free internet is ... attached to a suburban grocery store. Seriously, the ceiling is so vaulted it must be perhaps 3 stories high and the lay-out is so vast that they could host a prom here. Oh what an energized prom it would be! America has been positively delightful so far. LAX was a little hairy - especially when I approached a blonde lady and her blonde French bulldog and found the bulldog to be infinitely more personable than the lady.
Anyway, North Carolinians are proving to be as sweet as their accents (shout out to Fiji Mike and David!)... and I'm sure mine own southern hybrid accent is coming back to the surface :)
So, this Friday I will begin my voyage up to northern New York (Cherry Valley) where I will begin working at Hawk Circle as a Youth Mentoring Leader. The position starts off with me visiting local schools and teaching after school programs. Then, after a few months, I will work with various groups that come to the Hawk Circle property for a more day-camp-like experience. It is a seasonal position, however I might stay on for a longer period of time. I have been informed that there is still snow on the ground and I'm shaking in my boots with excitement. I was made for snow baby! I have to admit, the blossoming trees that paint the streets of NC right now are quite spectacular in their Spring-ness.

We are truly blessed/lucky (or however you want to look at it) for what we have here:)

OK - going to run for now. I will continue to blog ... letting my Fiji friends know what's up here and I am sure I will also continue to reflect on Fiji times.

Great word: LIMERENCE : "This isn't a talent as much as a motivation. The conscious mind hungers for money and success, but the unconscious mind hungers for those moments of transcendnence, when the skull line falls away and we are lost in love for another, the challenge of a task, or the love of God. Some people seem to experience this drive more powerfully than others."